~A Mother~

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A woman I know told me the story of how her now 32 old son was born autistic in 1980. At the time autism wasn’t as popular at it is now. She said she suffered through a traumatic time wondering what was wrong with her son as the doctors struggled with finding the right diagnosis for his abnormal and erratic behavior. When they eventually did, she said she and her husband were summoned to their doctor’s office where they were met by several specialists. She said after the doctors shared the bad news that their son was autistic and what that means, they said they have some good news for them. She then said they then told them that they were only going to share what they were about to with them knowing that they are an Africans as they would never share the same information with an African American couple because they don’t know how they would receive it, but that they would advise her to quit her job, totally focus on her son and through training, repetition and other things he would prescribe normalize her son out of the autism spectrum. The doctors said what a normal child would be taught and learn after a couple of times would take her child much much longer, but if she kept at it with him, he would eventually learn it.    She said that’s all she needed to hear. She never went back to work and stayed at home with her only son. What she did derailed her education and career but she didn’t care. Even her husband who was there when she was told to quit her job by the doctors, would often pick up the phone and tell anyone willing to listen that he is the sole breadwinner in the home since his wife has decided that she doesn’t need to work without mentioning anything about their autistic son. She said she suffered financial hardship as her husband only gave her money when he felt like it and she was at his mercy since she wasn’t working. Over time, her son became normal and now you wouldn’t know if you aren’t told.   When I met  the woman she was a temp working at a company I also worked for and I couldn’t even believe it as she told me, but as she spoke I saw the hurt from the sacrifice she endured just to make her son who he is today. I had met her son previously and I couldn’t believe it even as she told me. When I remember what she shared I am reminded of the Yoruba poem that I have translated into English below and what mothers sacrifice for their children. Feel free to read it. Enjoy!   ~A Mother~   A mother is priceless gold   That money can't buy   She was pregnant with me for nine months   She carried me on her back for ten months   A mother is priceless gold   That money can't buy