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I recently read this Bella Naija article titled,
Aunty Bella: Ms. I Got Pregnant & My “Husband” Disappeared… with the following content, "My name is *Mercy, I am from Imo State in Nigeria though I live in Europe and my supposed husband lives in England. I was contracted by his sister in 2005 to marry him because he asked her to search for a wife for him, at the time; he said that "London girls are not wife material". Since 2005, we have been dating. We would have phone s*x and did a lot of other things until 2011. In March 2011, I lost my mummy. After my mother’s funeral, *Chike came to visit me he said he was sorry over my mother’s demise. He got a job in the European city where I live and told me he was finally going to marry me and that he loves me. We made love in August up till the day he left to London on the 6th of September 2011. During the 1st week of October 2011, I realized I was pregnant. I immediately informed him and my dear sister. Since October 2011 until this very day as I write I have not heard from him."
As I read it, I rolled my eyes and hissed as I couldn't get over the fact that another girl had fallen victim to this over used scam perpetrated by Nigerian men all over the world by saying to their potential victims, "X (fill in any location) girls are not wife material." This is the classic lie many guys tell when they plan to commit atrocities far from where they live. They go for unwise and unsuspecting potential victims and recite this line that the girls in England, USA, Europe, Asia, you name it, etc are not marriage material. However, with their x-ray eyes they have watched you and see that you are very different from those girls because you are the eternally good, submissive, understanding, nice, kind, hardworking, beautiful, eloquent, intelligent and virginal wife material that they have been waiting for their entire lives. The worst part of it is that the dumb girls and even their family members believe such rubbish…
Then when this "saint" who has painted all the girls in a country black turns out to be the devil incarnate after he has gotten them pregnant or ruined their lives in other ways such as by giving them untreatable STDs, stealing from them and their family members, getting them involved as accessories to criminal activities etc, I am amazed that they wonder why. They don't need to. It serves the ladies right when they get into such trouble and have to suffer the consequences of believing such nonsense. They only need to think about it logically to know what these
notorious men with plenty to hide are doing. How can a sensible person say all females in a country where millions of females reside, including probably their very own distant or close female relatives are all bad and not wife material? It makes absolutely no sense.
What a massive brush stroke to paint millions of people with. And better yet, as bad as all these females are, he is "good" and in order for him not to deal with these "non-wife material females," he has stayed celibate all these years till he met her... Come on!!! Time often reveals that he himself has done much to contribute to these so called "non-wife material" girls being that way by exploiting them in various ways including sleeping with them, getting them pregnant and disappearing, stealing from them, using them etc as these girls allow themselves to be exploited all in the hopes that he will marry them.
How stupid can people be to readily believe that nonsense all because they want a man? If these girls believe that, then girls like her deserve to get what they get. As a matter of fact, I'm happy for her that all she got out of the bad deal is a child. It could be much worse. If he is a criminal he could have implicated her in some scam and have her in jail serving 25 years to life. So as bad as it might sound, as my mom always says, "A child is a thing of joy," and whether others see it that way at the time or not is
irrelevant.
It is not news that men will lie without batting an eye to get what they want from women and any woman who is dumb enough to believe their "X (fill in any location) girls are not wife material" lies only has herself to blame. At least let them put in the work of being creative enough to come up with a better lie created specifically for you to get over on you and not use the same tired lie thousands of men have used on countless others to get over on you too.
As for Mercy and many like her, she better go and add more jobs to the one she is currently doing to earn enough money for the extra mouth she has created. Chike is gone till he decides to return or not. As is stated in the article he is a married man with his own family. He was never and will never be her husband. He was just an average Nigerian man looking for a continuous and free sex provider on the side for a season and he used the regular "I will marry you" lie to get her. So, as far as he's concerned, he didn't bargain for having another child. He is done and has moved on to look for his next victim.
All the Bella Naija commenters who say she should find him and make him pay child support have no idea what they are talking about. Talk is cheap, everyone can afford it. To execute what they are advising her to do is the challenge which they won't help her with. If he is from a good family where they (starting with the sister that introduced them) can make him do right by her and the child, then good for her. If not, girlfriend’s problems have just started. Child support
judgments are not easy to enforce within a state. Enforcing them from state to state within a country is like pulling teeth because of different jurisdiction issues. Then talk less of from country to country. Just forget it. What he has done is not a national or inter-country crime. Interpol will not get involved chasing him from country to country in Europe. Mercy's best bet is to sign up for services provided to fatherless children where she is and make the best use of them. As I always say, the decision to have a child should rest solely with the woman because if the man chooses to disappear, she will be the one left alone to face the future with the child. Good luck Mercy. I hope you learned your lesson...
A word is enough for the wise...
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